Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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