Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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