I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize