I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No subtext here. People are naked.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
