Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
