i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
