And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
