i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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