i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
