Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
