new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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