He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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