I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
