You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
