I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize