I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So squirting runs in the family.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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