Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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