I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
