I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
