I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
