I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just cropdusted the office
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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