I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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