I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
