you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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