Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
