i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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