Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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