At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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