Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
