Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize