He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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