Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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