At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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