you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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