He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
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No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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