At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
