I puked a lego.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I believe in your delicious
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
