What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
