Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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