fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
