omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
