Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
