If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
soo... how was my night?
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