can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
