did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
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Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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