I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
