he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize