I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
