She went from zero to smokin in five shots
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
