Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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