If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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