So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
