420 ftw
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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