I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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