mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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