I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
