I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
