fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
