im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
