She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
