i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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