..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
His nipple licking is glorious
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