I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport