Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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