we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
