Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
