she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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