i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
