i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize